We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
