planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
