sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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