my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
