Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
