I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
