I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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