I don't usually arrange sex via text message
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
