Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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