Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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