so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
