doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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