The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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