I wanna passion pit in your ass
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
