i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
