she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
