Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
