Define "chronic" masturbator.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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