You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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