There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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