how can u be prego again
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
