Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
