Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
