conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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