i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
