Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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