I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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