The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
