if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
