Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I AM VODKA MAN
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
