walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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