i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
