Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
