That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
