I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
