i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
