how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
