Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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