her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
