Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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