Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
