i barfeds in our rink
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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