My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
