who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
