OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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