Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
