lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
