She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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