your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
