her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
