hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
